i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
