So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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