My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
