We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
