oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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