I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
