Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
