My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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