im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
