I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
