Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
