a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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