Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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