Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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