You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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