dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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