so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize