well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
