i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
