My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize