The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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