Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
