We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
