dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
