nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
