Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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