you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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