I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
