shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
