If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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