can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
