Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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