dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
