my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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