Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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