You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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