ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
