If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
