Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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