he shaved USA in his pubs
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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