where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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