I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
