Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
