There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
