Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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