When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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