Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's blow job season.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
