Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Randomize
