I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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