Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
