Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
