have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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