I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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