After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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