...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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