Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
