I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
