so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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