We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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