That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
