He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
