Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
