JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
