I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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