lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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