If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
