2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
