Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Terrible idea I love it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize